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Forum:Races
I have 3 ideas (for 3 civilisations). These include: 1) A group of Harbingers who survived their destruction by going into cryo-sleep. Their memories were completely cleansed, and they abandoned their former job, instead, they do now focus on rescuing Vernietigen, but have not achieved this yet, and probably never will. They take the form of Grox-like species, with a lava-like pattern visible across their bodies. They are also obsessed by death, and have created a undead like race to serve them. The are ruled by Lord Mortox, once a important person in Harbinger society. 2) An empire called the Imperium of War. They believe the universe is one big arena, where war flourishes, and endless war has to be created. They are 'evil', with a strong military. They were united by Imperator Caesar after a bloody civil war. Now, they are ruled by Imperator Augustus. Their ships are huge, but slow. In battle, the Dragowar (the main species) will often get into a battle trance. While this means they are immune to pain, this also means they have no concept of friend/foe any more, and they risk to attack allies forces until calmed down. 3) The Waptoria Alliance of Species. Many of the member species were created by an unknown race. Their main goal is to protect life from harm, and they would sacrifice themselves for that. Their most notable feature are their organic ships and buildings. They are a quite young, not extremely powerful, but flourishing civilisation. They are a force of justice and democracy, and were sworn enemies of the Harbingers, until the latter's defeat. That's all. Ecoraptor Comments (Add comments here. Please sign your contributions with four '~'s.) The concepts are interesting, but the pitches themselves need more detail. If you were to pick one of these civilizations, either one of the last two will do. The Harbingers have been reincarnated many times over the past few billions of years so there's no real reason for them to go into cryo-sleep when their descendants can continue the task. With any of the civilizations, I would like to know more information on their technology as well as their number of systems. Secondly, it would be a good idea to list where in the universe they are. Is this a standalone story or do you want to write tandem with someone? In the case of the latter, establishing a brief timeline would be a good idea. As this is only a pitch, you don't need to write your whole article here, but a few nebulous areas should be cleared first so that you have a more solid idea of what you are writing. Krayfish (talk) 22:26, November 30, 2012 (UTC) Agreeing with Kray. In addition, brief sentence-by-sentence thing for 2) and 3). "They believe the universe is one big arena, where war flourishes, and endless war has to be created." I imagine the history and development of this belief system would be interesting. How did it come about? "They are 'evil', with a strong military." Naturally they won't think they're evil, so the viewpoint will have to be qualified there. Also military strength is proportional to advancement; a type III civilisation's escape pod may well be able to take on a modern-era battleship. "They were united by Imperator Caesar after a bloody civil war. Now, they are ruled by Imperator Augustus." Basing civilisationary history on real life ones is a good idea. But maybe the names need a little changing :P "Their ships are huge, but slow." Bigger ships can mount bigger engines and have larger reactors; they should really be faster, though less maneouvrable. "In battle, the Dragowar (the main species) will often get into a battle trance. While this means they are immune to pain, this also means they have no concept of friend/foe any more, and they risk to attack allies forces until calmed down." If they have no ability to work together while in the trance, they should have been outcompeted by co-operative individuals capable of moderating their aggressiveness to work together while still getting at least some of the effects. As it is the trance lends itself more to solitary creatures, which aren't likely to get sapient. In addition, this trait will severely damage their ability to fight in vehicles. And on the other; "Their most notable feature are their organic ships and buildings." We used to use organic ships and buildings- wood :P Modern structural materials are used because they're superior; living things tend to be rather squishy and once dead they lose a lot of their advantages. In comparison, if you blow a hole through steel the rest will still be viable armour. "They are a force of justice and democracy, and were sworn enemies of the Harbingers, until the latter's defeat." I'm not sure how they could have met the Harbingers, who tend only to interact with races compromising the galaxy's stability, which is a little further ahead than this faction seems to be. Hope that helped. HolbenilordTalk 10:04, December 1, 2012 (UTC) With all this feedback in mind, I would suggest taking them into account so that you can improve the pitch. Once it is fined tuned enough, we'll be able to approve it.Krayfish (talk) 19:51, December 2, 2012 (UTC) Conclusion As it has been a week since we had a response, I will assume Ecoraptor is no longer interested in this wiki.Krayfish (talk) 17:53, December 7, 2012 (UTC) Category:Denied pitches